u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize