she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize