her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
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if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
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Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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