Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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