Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
try to milk me bitch
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