I'm jealous of your bromance
What did we do last night that was yellow?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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