oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
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I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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