I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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