she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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