when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize