She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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