the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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