He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize