I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
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The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
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Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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