the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize