I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize