i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
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I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize