Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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