I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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