What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize