I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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