what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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