Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize