I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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