I am in a vortex of obligation.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
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Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
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I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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