The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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