Me too!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize