only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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