do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize