Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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