I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize