His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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