i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize