That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have aggressive nipples.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize