how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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