Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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