So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
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Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You pole danced in your parka.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
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Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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