Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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