I didn't shave. On purpose
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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