I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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