Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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