Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
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Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
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I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
All I want is dick and wine.
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