Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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