I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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