The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize