If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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