Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize