You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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