Whod you bang
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm both gender and math confused
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize