i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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