So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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